Some Realizations

{Some Realizations}

The passing of time is so interesting. So frequently I am reminded of how much I still have to learn. I realize that the older I get the more I will realize how little I know. 
I realize that some things are more complicated than I thought when I thought my world was pretty much black and white... there is compassion and grace that exists in ways I still don't understand. 

I realize I am amazingly blessed to have Hans as my husband and life partner. I love that we get to share in life together. This one is an older realization but it still surprises me in fresh ways. Hans is absolutely still my best friend. I'm amazed by how God has blessed me with that man. We've both been busy at work writing novels and I love bouncing ideas off him or having him pick my mind about the things he's considering for his characters. Hans is such an amazing man. I care so deeply for him and I know he cares deeply for me. Sometimes it's difficult to believe that we've been married more than two years.... It seems even more wild to me that we'll have known each other only five years this October... I've realized that writing can be very rewarding but difficult to pick up when set down for a bit. 

I've realized that I enjoy writing more when I have a cool funky looking mug of tea next to me. I think it is important to try new things and challenge yourself. With this in mind I am so grateful to be with someone who challenges me and challenges himself. We are training to run a half marathon together this fall and I am so excited. 

I've realized that sometimes things just hold you down. We've moved into a little studio apartment. We're trying to downsize since it seems like we might be having a lot of transitions in the next few years. I am so grateful to have someone who is so connected to me agree with me on this point. I really love our new little apartment. It feels very much like home right now. Through this downsizing I have also realized that bunk beds can also serve as a great way to store things! 

I've realized that having work is a huge blessing! (I knew this one but sometimes refreshers happen.) We are both working for the University right now... That has been great but it's temporary. 

I've realized that I want some things less matchy matchy. Over the summer I have begun a mission to collect awesome but weird and mismatched mugs. So far I've gotten about seven. 

I've also been realizing more and more how important people are. We've had the opportunity to visit my family a number of times. Hans helped buck hay and we swam in the pool. We also had a fun little date up to Canada for mini golf and Tim Hortons. I also got to spend a week working in my grandpa's carpenter shop on a nearly completed art series! That was wonderful. I am so blessed by my amazing grandpa and his willingness to help me learn to use various power tools and grow as an artist. All this was filled with people that Hans and I love... These "people memories" (even my memories with the wonderful people at work!!! Work has been such a blessing!) are what have made this summer meaningful. 

Summer has in many ways been a wonderful blur so far. I want to truly make a difference in the world and I've realized it's a challenge to find the way to do that when life moves so quickly. I still believe this world will truly be changed for God's glory when I leave it and I am not giving up on my goal to change the world just because it will be hard. Hans and I are praying about the next step for us. We're excited to see where God leads... I'll try to explain a bit more later but there is a rough explanation of what has been going on in life as of late... 

{Right now I am trying to learn to realize and recognize whatever it is that God wants for me then pursue it... Right now it seems to be in "small things" that are actually a pretty big deal... Relationships... Most of all I realize that God is in control. I know I can trust him through this... Life is crazy and unpredictable but God is consistent and good.}

[the end... for now.] 

Childhood

My Grandfather has so many ridiculous home videos of me. Everything from embarrassing plays to me walking with rocks in my shoes on purpose. I was a pretty crazy kid. What gets me is that most of these crazy things I did didn't even get caught on camera. The other day I watched the movie Ramona and Beezus. It is such a cute film. I read the books when i was younger but now I couldn't help but laugh SO hard at the similarities between Ramona and I. If anyone wants to know me better or have a better insight into my childhood I would highly recommend watching that movie. Key difference, I have a big brother instead of a big sister. My Beezus is a boy. I'm so excited for my fiance to come back to the states so I can watch that movie with him.

Lessons from a Seventeen Year Old.

I am looking back at some of my old prayer journals and I have been feeling so convicted. I am impressed by how awesome God is and how odd it is that I let myself get in the ways of His great and AWESOME plans. I mean seriously who am I to get in the way of what God wants to do. Unfortunately I seem to find myself getting in the way a lot. I look at some of the things in my life and sometimes I wonder, what in th world am I thinking now. I am in the process of working towards a BA in English at a "secular" University but who am I to say or assume that God doesn't have something awesome planned for me in this part of the adventure of my life. I have to admit, I have not been spending the time in the Word [aka the Bible] that I need to. Unfortunately I have not only done that but I have been beating myself up for doing this and I haven't been spending more time with God because of it. WHAT AM I THINKING? I am such a fool sometimes. Spending time with God is so precious and I have not been loving God the way that I need to. I go to read my bible and get distracted with Plants VS Zombies. I mean really as far as things of eternal worth are concerned I would def say that time with God beats fighting Dr. Zombtness. Part of why I started this blog is because I really need some form of verbal processing and at the same time admitting when I have done wrong. That is so hard for me. Today I just wanted to say that I have been so so Wrong. But I would like to start being right again. Spending that time with God that I need so deeply within the core of my being.